Dear Ex-Fill-In-the-Blank, by Me

Dear Ex-Fill-in-the-Blank,

I don’t know why I did that internet search the other day on your name. At first, it was just a whim type of thing, searching for people I remembered from high school and college, friends I’d lost touch with. I guess most of us do that at some point or another, right? So when I entered your name into Facebook, I was surprised when your name came up, because it’s such an unusual name. I remembered thinking, “There’s no way there’s two of them…”

But there was your picture. There was no mistaking it was you. My heart skipped a beat. Then it fluttered, then it sped up and I sighed.

You were my best friend. You were my lover. You were, for that time in my life, my everything, and then, one day, you were gone. And for the past twelve years, you have been nothing more than a distant memory. Until yesterday, when you were larger than life.

And you were only one click away. Just one click. Just a little click on the ‘send’ button, and I could reconnect to… what? To you? To my past? To a different life?

I wrote the email I wanted to send, then I wrote it again, then I wrote it again. And then I wrote this. And then I wrote this again. I deleted, wrote, rewrote.

In the end, I left the letter unsent. (more…)

Dear Doctor: by A Patient of Yours

Dearest doctor,

I, like so many others with the ‘invisible illnesses’ out there today, came to you hoping for a little compassion, but mostly just expecting you to do your job and treat me. I had the erroneous conclusion that when a person goes to a doctor, the doctor listens to their symptoms, decides what tests to perform and then runs those tests, and that within a few days to a few weeks, gives you a diagnosis, prescribes medication, follows up as necessary and then you go on your merry way. Of course, I knew serious conditions might require more attention, but what I never imagined was that I’d be here, four years later, still not knowing what is wrong with me, what is causing my symptoms, and having you tell me that maybe I just need to lose weight, get up and move more.. or maybe I’m depressed?

I am depressed: I’m depressed that you can’t find out what’s really wrong with me!

But it’s more than that. When I first came to you, you promised me, with your hand on my leg, comforting voice and soft eyes, that you believed me and that you WOULD get to the bottom of this. Yesterday, though, I sat in your office and you said to me, “Well, you know, with your weight, and with…” (more…)

Dear Editor, by A Writer

Dear Snobby Editor:

So I sent you my manuscript, and you kept it for 389 days. I had already given up, since your submission guidelines said you would respond to my query within three months. I’m a writer, and I’ve never been very good at math, but I’m pretty sure 389 days is longer than three months. I gave you exclusive rights to it for the entire three months, waiting on submitting it to any place else, so you could have it for as long as necessary.

I don’t really mind that you took so long to respond, though. Truly, I don’t. I mean, if you were to tell me you were going to publish my writing, that would be just fine with me. But no, you kept my story for all that time, only to reject me 389 days later. (more…)

Changes, Differences, Love & Patience

Dear Everyone Moving Into the New Year,

Life has been interesting for the last 20 some-odd years of so, and I expect it will be interesting for the next 20 and hopefully the next 20 after that and after that, and so on. Interesting isn’t bad. It’s just interesting.

This past year, as I’m sure it has for many, has been full of changes. When the president said ‘change’, who knew he was speaking so personally to me? I guess life really is all about changes, but some days, I’d like for things to stay the same from one day to the next, without the whirlwind swirls in the night. Wake up and life is radically altered. What was so wrong with yesterday that it had to become today, and why does today always seem to want to work into tomorrow? (more…)

UNSENT CONFESSIONS: Wish I had the courage to send…

Dear ….,

Not sure how to start this email or even how to end it.

I started it because I needed to.  I’m tired of being angry and trying to figure where the blame lies.  In the end, none of that matters.  You affected me, and I don’t regret it or consider it a mistake.

I wasn’t sure how I would look back on the last year.  I understand that you were as honest as you could be.  I believe you cared when you could.  I no longer blame you nor am I angry or “disappointed.”  I hope you’re happy and wish you the best in life.  I hope you keep focused on yourself and what you want out of this time, life’s too short…and everyone is deserving of fulfillment.  (more…)