Feb 6, 2010
I still think about you. When certain songs come on the radio, or I see a skateboarder in the street, or even when I see guys who shares your slight, but overwhelmingly cute overbite, I think of you.
I’ll always think about you.
Being my first boyfriend, my first love, my first lover – well, I should remember you, right? Oh, but it hurts.
Do you remember staying at my house those weekends, hiding from my grandfather? Do you remember the day we lost our virginity, and how afraid you were that you might hurt me? We used to take showers together, and you hated washing your hair but you’d let me wash it for you. Do you remember? I do. (more…)
Apr 6, 2009
I am writing this after your death because I could not bring myself to do so while you were alive. It has been years now since your death but parts of me are still haunted by what you did to me.
I came to you with the trust of an innocent, someone who life had not done wrong yet. You were a doctor. A man who saved peopled, who helped those who were in need.
Here I was just a few weeks pregnant with no insurance and scared to death. I came to your office and saw a nurse who was nice. She told me I was six weeks along and everything I was experiencing–like the nausea, dizziness and bloating–were normal. I saw you briefly after speaking with the nurse. You looked like a hard man. My gut clenched but my mind shot down my intuition. You were a doctor, not someone to fear. I was sent home with an appointment to return at the twelve-week mark. (more…)
Mar 30, 2009
When I came to you, scared, alone, young, pregnant, and you told me I might have cancer, I did not expect you to hug me or hold my hand or even to provide any emotional support whatsoever. I didn’t expect you to sit with me all day and answer all my questions. I wasn’t looking to be coddled.
I did, however, expect you to be human.
So when I asked you, “What about the baby?”
And you answered, “What are you doing having sex so young anyway?”
I was stunned. (more…)
Mar 24, 2009
My Dear Ex Friend,
The idea of this letter has been in my head for several years. I never wrote it before because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings or put you on the spot about your behavior.
I guess what I need to know is this: What happened? What changed? What’s your problem?
Our friendship, I thought, was lifelong. We became friends in the first grade, and we soon became permanent fixtures in each other’s lives and families. I knew everything about you; you knew everything about me. We became roommates in college and shared our lives–good and bad–with each other. (more…)