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Not Supposed to Love You Anymore, by anonymous

Dear Ex Love,

Sometimes, I forget that I’m not supposed to be in love with you anymore.

I walk past your favorite food in the grocery store and think I’d like to buy it for you for dinner. Then I remember I’m not supposed to love you anymore.

I drive by the donut shop on Eight Street and remember when we used to sit there together and eat the hot donuts early in the morning. My heart flutters and I feel those butterflies inside. Then I remember I’m not supposed to love you anymore.

I drive home to the house we used to share, see your car in the drive, and I get excited to see you. Then I remember I’m not supposed to love you anymore.

The problem is, I do love you. I mean, I know we haven’t been able to work things out. I know that life has lead us in different directions and we’ve grown apart. I know that we aren’t meant to be together forever.

But I can’t help but remember the feelings, the love, the ‘real’ between us. It’s not like love can turn on a switch and turn it back off again at a whim. I’m reminded of Kenny Rogers’ song, “I can’t unthink about you. I can’t unfeel your touch…” It’s true. I can’t unlove you.

So when you’re packing up our lives and moving part of it away from me, I hope you know that somewhere in the pictures, the remnants, the memories… there, buried beneath all that past, is my love for you.

And maybe, when it comes time to divide up his and hers, yours and mine, and we walk away from the singular life we were supposed to live together, until death, and both begin living our new lives, separately, we can be kind to each other.

Maybe through the lawyers, the courts, the judges, the mediation and separation of property, we can look fondly at each other and remember the love, honor it.

Because even though I know we aren’t going to be together anymore, my heart hasn’t quite figured out yet that I’m not supposed to love you anymore. Somewhere inside of you, I know you feel the same way. Just because we can’t be together anymore doesn’t mean we have to release the love, the one good thing that was between us.

I learned a long time ago that sometimes love just isn’t enough. It wasn’t for us. Still, I need to believe that love matters, even if it’s not enough to hold together.

Someday, maybe I’ll look back and remember that I once loved you. It’s going to be awhile before that happens though, because right now, my heart just doesn’t understand yet that I’m not supposed to love you anymore.

Love,
Your soon to be ex wife

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13 Responses to “Not Supposed to Love You Anymore, by anonymous”

  1. amy says:

    wow, I related to this a few years ago in a huge way. I am glad life moved on and this woman will see the joy a new life can bring someday. its hard to move on, and its a b***ch when it happens but when one door closes another opens..

  2. Linda St.Cyr says:

    Incredibly written letter.

  3. Angel says:

    This is sad, but not totally so. It’s sad the relationship broke up, but it’s good the love is still there. It’s always better when people can be civil and get along after divorce. I do wish you all the best.

  4. Kathy says:

    I completely feel you on this one. If you ever find that “off” switch to your heart, be sure to let the rest of us know where it’s at!

  5. Rissa says:

    I am so sorry.

    A beautiful, heart wrenching letter.

  6. Bobbi Leder says:

    The end of any relationship is difficult, and you captured it beautifully.

  7. Cathy Doheny says:

    I also went through a divorce, but mine was made easier in a way in that he cheated on me and really killed our love. I do remember loving him, but could not allow myself to be mistreated by him any longer just because I loved him. In retrospect, I see that my love for my ex-husband was a mistake, though I know that everyone’s experience is different.

    Thank you for sharing your love and your honesty. Great letter!

  8. Gillian says:

    There is no way to unlove someone and boy does that hurt. Time helps and I hope that is the case for you. A beautiful letter.

  9. Jo Brielyn says:

    What a beautiful letter. You captured the feelings perfectly. I think a lot of us can relate.

    Unfortunately, true love doesn’t just turn off even when we want it to.

  10. Cool Blogger says:

    Great article. That is very true when people part ways. Many times it is far more complex and can involve lots of hatred and more…

  11. Ashley says:

    Beautiful.

  12. Heather says:

    That absolutely touched my heart. Thank you. It’s exactly what I would say if I had the words.

  13. Tracey says:

    I have tears.. amazing… this exactly what I am going through and feel…

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