My Precious Unborn Twins, by Lindsay Maddox

My Precious Unborn Twins:

Can I let you in on an itty bitty secret? Promise you won’t tell?

Okay, then. Here goes:

I am a teensy bit scared of you.

I know, you’re maybe ten inches tall and just shy of pound, but the thought of you is slightly terrifying to me.

Know why?

There will be two of you at once. Two boogery noses, two drooling mouths, two wailing lungs. Eventually, you’ll grow up and come up with your own twin gibberish language not even your big brother or sister will understand. Running through my mind are scenarios of one of you taking off on your fast little legs at the park. Then, while I’m chasing that stinker down, the other is running away in the opposite direction.

See why you’re a little frightening to your mommy?

And yet, I am already insanely in love with you and tremendously excited to bring you home.

Last week, to my complete and total shock, we found out that you are both boys. Boys! Dirty, worm squishing, bug collecting, grassy-kneed boys. I love boys. I cannot wait for your big brother and sister to have two little brothers.

Every day your brother asks me, “Mama, are my babies coming today?”

One day, in just a few months, I will finally be able to tell him, “Yes.”

He is already head-over-heels for you. He kisses each side of my belly every night before bed. He waves at your ultrasound pictures that we posted on his bedroom door. He even sits quietly with his hand on my belly, hoping for one of you to give his hand a good kick.

Occasionally, he will blow a big ‘ol raspberry on my belly, look up at me with his big blue eyes gleaming, and chuckle, “Mommy, the babies waffing!”

I am excited for you to have such a wonderful big brother, and for him to have you.

Then, there’s your big sister. She isn’t yet two-years-old, so she doesn’t quite understand, but she does love blowing on my belly and patting it. To my amusement (and chagrin), she will squeal “Babies!” when she points at my belly… and my boobs… and my butt. Still, she is very excited to meet you.

So many emotions pour through me this Mother’s Day with your birth quickly approaching.

There’s excitement over meeting you and watching you grow and an inkling of terror for becoming the mother of the species called “twins.” Then, there’s this itsy bitsy part of me that is a touch sad about you two being my last pregnancy.

But, above and beyond all this, there is overwhelming joy.

How did I get so lucky to have your two older siblings and now you?

In talking to others, it’s almost as though they see twins as a curse.

“Better you than me,” they chuckle.

“Oh, you poor thing,” they frown.

I could never see you as anything but a blessing. You are a blessing to me, a blessing to your siblings and each other, your daddy, and so many aunts, uncles and grandparents. I feel immensely fortunate to have the opportunity to be your mom.

Already, you make me smile. When Lefty kicked Righty in the crotch during the ultrasound and Righty responded by whacking Lefty in the head, I knew you would fit in well with our silly little family. I picture you growing up and sharing a bond that very few of us experience in our lifetime. I see you two and your big brother getting into a bit of trouble, and the three of you protecting your sister from all the other boys out there. Most of all, I see a whole lot of love and happiness.

Please know that my love isn’t divided among you two and your brother and sister. Instead, it seems to have multiplied. Ever since we found out you were on the way, my heart has been full to the point of nearly bursting.

My sweet little boys, the words “thank you,” seem so inadequate, but thank you for choosing me, for blessing all of us. I promise to be the best mommy to you, to protect you and kiss your boo-boos. I look forward to counting your twenty fingers and toes and taking in your perfect little features. Some may say that you are lucky to have your daddy and me as parents, but I already know the opposite is true. I love you already, more than you’ll ever know.

Forever yours,

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8 Responses to “My Precious Unborn Twins, by Lindsay Maddox”

  1. (I meant to say two sets of wailing lungs. Woops.)

  2. Susan S. says:

    The heart always amazes me…just when you thought it had reached its full capacity to love, something comes along to prove you wrong.

    You’re going to do great, Lindsay!

  3. Dreamweaverr says:

    You need to put this in their baby albums. I wish I could feel them kick too. Online aunties like that stuff too, lol. I have seen you write with wit and love about your first two. Just imagine how much fodder for your writing the boys will add, lol. I am looking forward to reading it and seeing their precious faces. :-)) They are very lucky to have you for a mommy.

  4. Angel says:

    Awww, how sweet! I know y’all are going to be the perfect little(well, not so little is it?) family!

  5. Cathy Doheny says:

    What a precious letter!

  6. heather shockney says:

    This is beautiful.

  7. Kim says:

    This is a wonderful letter Lindsay! You are going to do great with the twins and the older ones.

  8. Rissa says:

    Oh Lindsay, such a beautiful, fun letter!

    Your family is blessed to have each other.

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