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Dearest Mom, by Marilyn Wong

Dearest Mom,

I am sorry I had been such a terrible daughter all these years. You have never minded spending all your hard-earned money on me, but I have not been grateful, only resentful that you buy me expensive, beautiful clothes to wear, always thinking that because I did not inherit your beauty, you had been mocking me, and trying to cover up my ugliness and make me look more worthy of you. But that had never been the case. I know that now. You love me. You simply love me with all your might. You never saw me as ugly: you, the beautiful woman who has a daughter with plain looks never saw that I am not as good as you are. You always saw me as a princess. You saw my heart and knew that deep down I am good and beauty shines through.

You have had so many disappointments in life, and I had been the only truly good thing you were sure about: that I am your daughter, for you to hold, love and pamper, without worries of my betraying you, as so many had done. I am sorry I never realized any of it.

All these stupid years, I thought beauty is the one thing that I never had, but that you have insisted on me. But that is not so. I know that now. You are the one who sees beauty in me even when others do not. Even when I did not. I now know of disappointments too, as you have. I now know of heartbreaks too, as you have. I now know that I have tried to find love in all the wrong places. I could not find someone to love me unless I loved myself first. You are the one who loves me, unconditionally. You taught me to love myself. And now, perhaps, I can learn to love.

Please let me start with you. Let me protect you, let me lavish my love on you, let me make you happy, make you laugh, and make you know that finally, even if late, I do love you, and cherish what you have done for me. That I have noticed every single thing that you have done for me. That I know the pain I have caused you. That I regret hurting you as I have, deeply and irrevocably. I am sorry. Please give me a chance to make it up to you. Let me start this Mother’s Day. Perhaps I will not have the courage to show you this letter, but please let me start. Please live healthy and strong for years and years to come, so that I can compensate for my mistakes, and start anew. May we share many happy years ahead.

Your daughter, always,
M

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3 Responses to “Dearest Mom, by Marilyn Wong”

  1. Cathy Doheny says:

    Wow, this is such a gut-wrenching letter! Well done, Marilyn!

  2. Linda St.Cyr says:

    Simply beautiful.

  3. Angel says:

    I really hope you do have lots more time with your mom to show her all you need to and form the bond you wish.

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