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Dear Goddess, by Gillian Taber (Unsent Letters Religion Theme)

Dear Goddess,

We’ve been together since I hit my teens and began to realize that men didn’t actually run the universe no matter what the general opinion seemed to be. I thought it was probably about time I said thank you for putting up with me and gently guiding me along the path. With Spring everywhere I look, I think of you in your diaphanous shift of pale green, blossoms in your hair, walking through the quiet places of the world and enjoying the renewal and I smile because you are beautiful to me and beloved. In the Spring I came to you, thirty two years ago, walked across the soft grass of your meadow, unsure of myself, of you and you allowed me to sit with you. You took me in and gave me shelter and I return to you now to tell you that I can never thank you enough for all you have been to me and will always be.

You know me better than I know myself but you have never laid down rules that I must obey, teaching me only that I should live my life in harmony with our world and all those who live there. When I came to you and pleaded to be told what to do, you smiled gently and told me to go find out for myself. Oh there were times, and you know this, that I hated you as I struggled to get through barriers erected by others and those I put in place by myself. Times when I screamed at you to help me, to give me a straight answer but you were stronger than I and always there was the smile and the gentle push back into the world you knew I had to face.

I have grown under your guidance. You have to admit, I don’t scream at you very often these days. In fact, there are days when I don’t even speak to you, a far cry from the clinging child I was when we first set out on this path. You are my mother and you know that children must grow, learn and move away from a mother’s skirts, stand alone, make decisions, right or wrong and face the consequences of those decisions. You accept this but you have made it abundantly clear that you are always there to dry my tears and give me the courage to go forward when my world falls apart, when my decisions are so wrong as to be farcical. You above all know my faults but you do not castigate me for them. Instead you help me to see how to make myself better, whole. I know there will be no punishment should I fall away from the path (as I have done often over the years) only your support and love to straighten me out and set me right. You help me to see clearly when I am lost and make me face things in my life that I would rather run from but always with tenderness and concern for my existence. You are my tutor but you never preach, enforce, only guide and show me how to do what I must under my own power.

How often have I sat before you and cried, screamed and complained about my depression? Always it is the same question. ‘Why me? Why do I have to suffer this?’ Not once have you wavered in your answer to me, repeating with endless patience that we have lessons to learn and this is mine. You give me strength but insist I find my answers for myself. I still haven’t found those answers and doubtless I will ask again but you understand that it is the need in me to release the frustration with someone who will not judge me and will listen without interruption as I work through my jumbled thoughts.

You are always there for me, an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, a sounding board for my troubles who never asks anything of me but my love and my respect for the world we inhabit. These I give you without reservation my beloved mother and eternal goddess. Always I ask from you and always you give of wisdom and comfort, of laughter and tears and I thank you for every second you have been with me and allowed me to know you. I do not know where I would be without you… and I suspect you’d probably tell me to go and find out!

With eternal love, gratitude and respect from my heart, my soul and my mind;

Thank you for watching over my life,
Gillian

~~~

Gillianwrites fantasy fiction, usually short stories but she is delving into novel territory with two fantasy epics and a semi-autobiographical story. Drawn to the dark and the stranger side of life, she is usually to be found at her pc with a vacant expression on her face as her fingers transfer the landscapes of her mind onto the screen. To read more of Gillian’s writing, visit her websites.

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6 Responses to “Dear Goddess, by Gillian Taber (Unsent Letters Religion Theme)”

  1. Susan says:

    Gillian, this is a beautiful letter that brought tears to my eyes. Lately, I have felt that I have strayed from her path, and although I miss her, for some reason I have avoided finding the time to get reacquainted. This letter was the perfect motivation for me to do that. You made me realize just how much I need to do that.

    Thank you.

  2. Angel says:

    Beautifully written, and heartfelt letter.

  3. MJ says:

    Beautiful letter Gillian. Thank you for taking the time and describing some of the struggles we face as children of the Goddess. Spring Blessings and may you find the answers you seek and learn the lessons you are meant to learn.

  4. Gillian says:

    Thank you all for your positive comments.

  5. Wonderful letter, Gillian.

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