Dear Birth Mother of My Daughter, by Laurie Darroch-Meekis

Dear Birth Mother of My Daughter,

I have never seen you face to face. You have no idea who I am. What I do know is, because of you I have my daughter.

There have been times I have been so angry with you. I watch my daughter, a wondrous and happy child  who lights up any place she goes, and wonder how you could have thrown her away. I wonder if she ever crosses your mind. You brought her into the orphanage the day she was born. My anger at those moments is only because she is such a loving child that I don’t see how you could have given her up. It is my protective streak saying, “How dare you reject my child!”

Most of the time, I smile because of you. I am grateful to you for the gift of this daughter you carried, who has become mine. I imagine myself walking in your shoes the day you brought her in to the orphanage and wonder what pain must have been going through you with each step, knowing you would probably never see your child again. I know you chose the path that you thought would be the best for her. That was your wisdom. That was your gift of love to her. You could not care for her yourself. You wanted someone in her life who could. It was a leap of faith. You were hoping she would find people to love her the way you obviously did. Your leap of faith was answered. She found me. We found each other.

Rest assured she has a mother who loves her beyond measure. I want you to know that she is cared for and cherished, praised and scolded, encouraged and prodded, cuddled and treasured. Most of all she is loved by a boundless heart. She is my daughter and a part of me. She is joy wrapped up in warmth and life. She is my child. I am her mommy.

On this Mother’s Day we will include you in our outing to the park, a special time together. We will send our love back to you on the water that runs out to the ocean there. I hope it reaches you to wash over you with the love a mother and daughter have for each other. We send it to share with you. Happy Mother’s Day.

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6 Responses to “Dear Birth Mother of My Daughter, by Laurie Darroch-Meekis”

  1. This is so beautiful, Laurie. I’m sure your daughter’s birthmom prayed for her little girl to go to a wonderful mother like you.

  2. Angel says:

    That was very beautiful, Laurie. I think Lindsay is right, her birthmom would be very happy knowing she is loved and cherished by you.

  3. Cathy Doheny says:

    Awesome letter, Laurie! I share many of your feelings for Jade’s birthmom as well. How lucky we are to have our precious girls!

  4. Sam says:

    What a nasty letter. How dare you tell that woman how she felt, and spend the first paragraph ripping into her. Your tone is totally miscalculated, and I pray to God this letter remains unsent.

  5. Amy says:

    I actually have to agree with Sam here. The last part was very sweet. But the beginning wasn’t so sweet. You don’t know what her reasons were for leaving her baby. Maybe she was raped or maybe she was a young teenager. You may not know. You expressed sorrow for her right after saying how mad you are at her. At lest she didn’t abort that baby girl. She did what she did out of love most likely and it was probably the hardest thing she ever had to do.

  6. LaurieDM says:

    Sam,such anger.You misread.This was meant lovingly. I was saying was what I felt, and knowing how I would have felt in the same situation,sorrow at giving up a child, confusion, which she did too. I was not saying I was mad at her, I said at fleeting moments that anger crosses my mind because of my protective nature and the intense love for my child. These are thoughts that run through many adoptive parents minds. Amy, I actually DO know what her reasons were. She was neither a young teenager or a rape victim. I was not telling her how she felt. I was acknowledging the confusion and pain and thanking her, but she could have kept her. I was thanking her for making the decision to try and give my daughter a better life than she could give her.

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