Currently Browsing: Letter to Body (Body part)
May 30, 2009
Dear Fat Girl,
Step away from the buffet table for a minute, because we need to talk.
You and I have always been at odds with each other. I would join the gym, and you would eat a piece of birthday cake at an office birthday party. We had a rivalry, but we still liked each other.
You used to occasionally indulge. You never drank regular soda or ate candy bars. Lately, that has changed. You have become a glutton, and quite frankly, you disgust me. (more…)
Mar 25, 2009
I was shocked when the doctor informed me we would have to part ways. I mean, sure, you had been giving me more problems than usual, but I thought you had hooked up with Mr. Thyroid and y’all were just causing mischief. I never dreamed you were growing something in there!
You sure were busy too! From one appointment to the next, you had cultivated your seed to the size of a sixteen-week-old fetus! You know, if you were that desperate to grow something again, you should have talked to me. We might have come to some accommodation. As it were, you left me no choice but to remove you. (more…)
Mar 18, 2009
I know I wasn’t very good to you. I would stretch my limits to the point where they were almost ignored. Lifting those washers, dryers, and refrigerators on Monday mornings at that retail store I used to work for probably didn’t help you out too much. Forgive me. I was young and foolish, but what choice did we really have at that time?
I needed to pay off college and send you to the doctor, and the only way to do that was to get paid from the only employer willing to hire a snotty-nosed college grad at the time. We could have tried to smile pretty at the nice doctors, but I don’t think that would have gotten us through the waiting room door. (more…)