Posts Tagged ‘Love’

23
Mar

An Unspoken Goodbye, by Amanda Vaughn

   Posted by: admin    in Ex Boyfriend, Letter to Lover

Dearest Love,

It has been three months since you left and your presence still feels as close to me as it ever was. I feel you watching over me, protecting me from all the unknown fears that lie deep in my river of thoughts.

You sheltered me as if I were fragile and breakable. I am broken without you here. Time and space have no meaning. My hours turn to days, and my days turn to months for my shattered being. Read the rest of this entry »

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The piece that follows was written over 10 years ago now. I wrote it while I was in a relationship with a man who treated me with love and respect, but he used drugs. Occasional marijuana use turned into snorting cocaine, and led to freebasing coke, and that lead to other things.

As his world fell around him, I tried to save him. For two more years after the drug abuse worsened, we continued an on again off again relationship. Eventually, the toll this drug abuse had on the relationship became too much for me, and I had to walk away.

Today, he and I are friends, good friends even, and I still care deeply for him, though I have moved on with my life. Sometimes, I will see him and my heart flip flops, with a mixture of emotion between sorrow and wistful regret that I cannot fix him, cannot save him. Each year goes by, and he looks worse and worse. My heart wants to reach out and pick him up, but having broken away from my codependency, I know beyond doubt that I cannot save him.

Anyone who has experienced codependency, no matter the cause (it’s not always drugs or alcohol) will probably understand the feelings expressed in this writing.

I hope you enjoy it. Read the rest of this entry »

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To The Man Who Holds My Heart and My Children:

I sit here, at the end of what I am certain is our most difficult parenting day to date, completely in love with the man you have become. When we met those ten and a half years ago, I knew there was something about you, something I wouldn’t be able to find in anyone else. Now, I know that is true. I’m not certain what exactly I did to deserve you, but I will tell you I do not take a single ounce of your love for granted.

My love, you are compassionate.

You don’t hesitate to scoop our babies up into your arms after they fall down and get hurt. You even sympathize with their devastation over a broken toy and tickle their sadness away. In the midst of my own tears, you quickly wrap me in a silent hug and let me bury my head into your chest until my grief has subsided. No matter how big or small the situation, you listen, you understand, and you care.

You are the most unselfish person I have ever met.

At the end of a long day at work, you come home, do the dishes, start the laundry, and still somehow find time for raucous Daddy Wrestlemania sessions with our kids. It makes me grin from ear-to-ear when I hear them giggling and squealing with glee, knowing that with each flerbert to the belly or tickle behind the knee, our kids’ self confidence is skyrocketing.

The kids and I are always top priority, even above yourself. Quite often, even when dinner is waiting for you when you get home, you don’t end up eating until after they are tucked in and the house is settled. Yet, I have never heard you complain.

You have come home early from work on days when I just simply need you there with me. You cared for me and completely took over all of the housework when I was dealing with awful morning sickness. You surprise me with coffee for no real reason at all, other than you love me. You run errands, take the kids out to the park to give me a break, and let me sleep in on the weekend, all at the expense of your own time and comfort. You, my love, are incredibly unselfish.

Best of all, you are hilarious.

You are unafraid of being yourself, and because of this, you are teaching our children to behave the same way. What an amazing gift you are instilling in our kids! I cannot tell you how many times I have dissolved into a fit of laughter over watching you play with the kids.

Say they want you to act like a monkey. Well, you don’t settle for a little lame armpit scratching and “Ooh-ooh-aaaaah!” Oh no. You go full out. You crouch down, knuckles on the ground and fully imitate a gorilla making the loudest “Oooh-ooooh-OOOHAAAAAAHAAAH!” you can. The kids are so entertained and so excited about their daddy, the monkey, they can hardly even muster the strength in their little legs to run away. Instead, they often run toward you, just to be caught in the Monkey Daddy tickle grasp.

I think the tee-shirt you proudly wear tells it all: Men Who Change Diapers Rule. You are proud of your Daddy-ness, and aren’t afraid to flaunt it.

Most guys would cower at the idea of doing “Mom stuff,” but you’re different. You don’t hesitate to put your newborn daughter in a wrap and wear her against your chest. One day, when she’s older and into girly things, I wouldn’t doubt that you’ll be right down on the floor with her, having a tea party, pretty pink cup in hand.

You aren’t afraid of these things, because you have an amazing sense of humor about yourself and about life. You know what is important, and you know that being a good dad makes you a great man.

And in the end, you are a manly man.

You love sports, time with the guys, and poker. You deal with the “guy stuff” of the house, like car maintenance and yard work. You always pick out action movies to watch and would be perfectly content eating hamburgers smothered in barbecue sauce every day for the rest of your life. You are my man, my protector, and my security.

Some may argue that a “real man” does the manly stuff around the house, all the dirty work and sweat labor. I would beg to differ, based on the real man I see in you. Real men kiss owies and sing lullabies. Real men change diapers and don’t flinch at being peed on by newborns. Real men love their kids and don’t hesitate to let them know at every possible opportunity.

You are as real as they get.

I could not ask for a better husband, father to my children, or best friend. I see the adoration in the eyes of our children when they greet you at the door after work squealing, “Daddy!” and smothering you in hugs and kisses. I see it throughout the day when you take just a little extra time to play cars or Hide and Seek. I see it at night, when you kiss them and tuck them into their beds. I pray that I am half the parent to our children that you are. I pray for half of your patience, your compassion, and your unselfishness.

But mostly, I am thankful. I am thankful for the man I fell in love with, the man you have become, and the man you will grow to be. We are all so lucky to have you in our lives. You have singlehandedly made this world a better place by being the amazing man you are.

So, this Father’s Day, though we don’t have money for fancy gifts and though our children are behaving more like wild beasts than our sweet little offspring, know that we appreciate what you do for us. Know that we love you. Most of all, know that there isn’t a single person in the entire world who could ever come close to filling your shoes.

Forever yours,
Your adoring wife
~~~

Lindsay Maddox is a freelance writer who seeks to find humor in parenting every day. In addition to nonfiction writing, she will have several fiction short stories published in upcoming Accentuate Anthologies. To learn more about Lindsay, check out her website and blog at http://lindsaymaddox.com.

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Dear Ex Love,

Sometimes, I forget that I’m not supposed to be in love with you anymore.

I walk past your favorite food in the grocery store and think I’d like to buy it for you for dinner. Then I remember I’m not supposed to love you anymore.

I drive by the donut shop on Eight Street and remember when we used to sit there together and eat the hot donuts early in the morning. My heart flutters and I feel those butterflies inside. Then I remember I’m not supposed to love you anymore.

I drive home to the house we used to share, see your car in the drive, and I get excited to see you. Then I remember I’m not supposed to love you anymore.

The problem is, I do love you. I mean, I know we haven’t been able to work things out. I know that life has lead us in different directions and we’ve grown apart. I know that we aren’t meant to be together forever.

But I can’t help but remember the feelings, the love, the ‘real’ between us. It’s not like love can turn on a switch and turn it back off again at a whim. I’m reminded of Kenny Rogers’ song, “I can’t unthink about you. I can’t unfeel your touch…” It’s true. I can’t unlove you.

So when you’re packing up our lives and moving part of it away from me, I hope you know that somewhere in the pictures, the remnants, the memories… there, buried beneath all that past, is my love for you.

And maybe, when it comes time to divide up his and hers, yours and mine, and we walk away from the singular life we were supposed to live together, until death, and both begin living our new lives, separately, we can be kind to each other.

Maybe through the lawyers, the courts, the judges, the mediation and separation of property, we can look fondly at each other and remember the love, honor it.

Because even though I know we aren’t going to be together anymore, my heart hasn’t quite figured out yet that I’m not supposed to love you anymore. Somewhere inside of you, I know you feel the same way. Just because we can’t be together anymore doesn’t mean we have to release the love, the one good thing that was between us.

I learned a long time ago that sometimes love just isn’t enough. It wasn’t for us. Still, I need to believe that love matters, even if it’s not enough to hold together.

Someday, maybe I’ll look back and remember that I once loved you. It’s going to be awhile before that happens though, because right now, my heart just doesn’t understand yet that I’m not supposed to love you anymore.

Love,
Your soon to be ex wife

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Heyya Baby,
I was playing with the baby this morning, after doing my writing, and I wanted to tell you something.

I know that, for as long as I’ve known you, you’ve worried about how good of a mother you would be.

I just want to tell you, again, that looking back at the last seven months, I couldn’t be more confident that you are (and will be) an awesome mother.

I’ve watched, again and again, as you put Gracie before your own comfort, desires, and needs, and always in a loving, nurturing way.

Not out of obligation or responsibility, but out of love.

I think that the examples and experiences that you’ve had, have given you the opportunity to either be the mother you feared you would be, or to learn from them and become with mother you wish you’d had.

You have done the latter, and I can’t tell you how much I respect and admire you for that. You’ve always been someone I’ve looked up to, and this is one more example of why.

Our daughter is blessed to have a mom who puts her child’s needs before her own, and does so in love. It means everything to me when I see you playing with her, laughing with her, and creating a bond that only a “good” mother can.

I think that our grandchildren will thank you for the example that you’re setting. I know I do.

You help me be a better “daddy” every day, and if our daughter grows up to be a woman like you, then we’ve succeeded.

I love you,
-Me

~~~~
Novelist, blogger, and award winning travel writer, Perry P. Perkins is a stay-at-home dad who lives with his wife Victoria and their year-old daughter Grace, in the Pacific Northwest. Perry has written for numerous parenting magazines and anthologies, and his inspirational stories have been included in eleven Chicken Soup anthologies as well. Examples of his published work can be found online at www.perryperkinsbooks.com, and on his blog at: www.ricecereal.wordpress.com

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Four years ago, you gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Five days later, you abandoned her on the steps of a hospital in Yiyang City. It was February and must have been a chilly night underneath the southern Chinese moon. I wonder how many blankets you owned with which to wrap your delicate newborn baby. Maybe you sacrificed your own garments to fortify the only threadbare cloth used to insulate her tender skin.
What were the last words you uttered to your flesh and blood? Did your baby understand? Could she even hear your tone pleading for forgiveness over her own desperate cries while she begged to return to familiar warmth?

I wonder how many times you stopped and looked back, making mental bargains with yourself and the dictates of your society.

In the end, you bowed your head and disappeared into the dark night, leaving your baby alone to face her uncertain future.

The nannies of the Yiyang Social Welfare Institute named their newest orphan Chun’an–“Chun” because she was born in the spring, “An” for the peace she brought to the unrest of their poverty-stricken orphanage.

Little An An was examined by a doctor, and it was determined she had congenital heart disease–mild pulmonary stenosis. Now tagged with a diagnosis, her file was placed with the other imperfect ones on the bottom of the stack.

It was sixteen long months before Baby An An became eligible for adoption. My husband and I saw her photos and read her profile online through an American adoption agency. She had wild spiked hair, wide dark eyes, and delicate toes. The nannies said she liked music and was “a little stubborn”. We knew immediately we were meant to become her parents.

The adoption agency agreed and chose us out of fifty other couples. I cried for hours when I was handed the news that I was to become the mother of this perfectly imperfect child… your child… our child… my child….

The child I now call Jade Chun’an.

I think of you often and wonder what became of you. Did your future yield a son to uphold the family? Do his well-tended tears carry a haunting of his baby sister crying out in the empty night? Your outstretched arms must ache for remnants of your forfeited infant. Transported into that dismal scene, I would happily fly into your arms. My lips would devoutly praise your name, as I shower you with blessings and gratitude. You gave my daughter what I could not–her first breath of life.

Today Jade is full of that life, a life you started and a life I sustain. The delicate toes you gave her now carry her with grace through her ballet classes. Her Chinese blood is jubilant as she performs with the local Asian Dance Troupe, and her tongue is relearning the language of her birth with a Mandarin teacher. She tumbles in gymnastics class and executes a perfect “Victory” pose afterward. Her stubborn Olympian spirit has overcome all odds, even though it should have been broken long ago.

I promise, her congenitally imperfect heart is more perfect than you could ever imagine.

As Jade learns about life and love, she will learn about you. We will never know your name, but she will understand the sacrifice you made for her and your family and my family. Though you cannot be a part of her life, Jade will come to appreciate the gifts you bequeathed to her… her Chinese blood, her Olympian spirit, her delicate toes, and her perfect heart. She will honor you with each tumble she executes and each “Wo ai ni” she utters to her father and me.

I will honor you by protecting your gift of life with my own life.

Would I have made the same choice, had I followed your footprints? Would my fate force me to yield to another mother for the greater good of that child and my expectant family? I humbly thank the universe for sparing me the torment of a life that requires such a decision.

With Gratitude,
Jade’s Mother

~~~~~~

Cathy Crenshaw Doheny is an award-winning freelance writer, specializing in creative nonfiction. Her works have been featured in various online and print publications in the US, Canada, Australia, and Ireland. She is the winner of the Kaixin Inaugural Writing Competition, as well as a multi-award winner on the Notes and Grace Notes site. You may read more about her writing at http://cathydoheny.blogspot.com

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Dear Ryan,

In this world, I thought I was smart, learned, educated… I had been through hell, been to heaven, and everywhere in between…
so much I had experienced, so much I thought I knew.

And then there was you.

I learned from you that as much as I thought I knew, I had only begun to understand and know the world around me. I never knew the sky could be quite so blue or a sunset so beautiful as when I watched it through your eyes, watching me.

I never knew what family really meant.

I never knew the comfort of complete, unconditional acceptance.

I never knew that friendship didn’t have to take a backseat to passion.

I never knew passion didn’t have to take a backseat to friendship.

I never knew true friendship.

I never knew true passion.

I never knew love.

No, I mean real love.

I never knew freedom. Freedom to be myself.

Safety.

Security.

I never knew I was beautiful.

I never knew I was worthy.

I never knew how humble I was until you were proud of me.

I never knew me.

To think that I could have lived my entire life without you, thinking I knew so much, when all I ever needed was to know you in order to know everything.

You are every romantic cliche ever written and every love song ever sung. Your name is whispered in every line of every piece of poetry I read and write. Where once I only wrote the words, where once I could only sometimes feel them, now I live the words I write, with passion…

…and understanding.

I never knew I was alive until you taught me how to live. I never knew how much I had, until you showed me how to give.

I never knew…

… and then there was you.

And now I know.

~~~

Michelle L Devon (Michy) is a writer, editor, poet… she’s also a professional dreamer. In fact, she created Unsent Letters, and decided that since it’s her baby, she can put up a letter of her own today! Enjoy!

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23
Mar

“1.11.04″

   Posted by: admin    in Letter to Boyfriend, Letter to Lover, Writers

M.,

Here I am again, awakening at the dawn of reflection. All I feel is love for you. All I see when I open my eyes is you.

Within my love for you lives sadness, for the pain we are sure to impart on one another is great, and very powerful. Powerfully painful… and powerfully fertile ground for seeds waiting to grow from our dirt.

The essence of all great love stories’ beauty lies in the truth and tragedy of the human condition.

Tragic is the lovers’ undying determinism to hold on tightly to a force much bigger, and more fluid, than what any human can grip in their hands. Love must not be held prisoner by the hedonistic desires or frightened fists of humans. If we grab at it, we will miss it.

There is so much I want to set free in you. It is a matter of harnessing and using the radiance that is capable of mystifying my own chains and leading them to soften.

I don’t want to apologize again. But here I am immortalizing the sentiment.

My feelings for you are never easy to describe… in letters or words or sentences. Because these things impose the filter of logic upon the purity of emotion. But look, here I am, writing my dissertation on the meaning or meaninglessness of true love.

Tonight, may we both stop thinking. Let us both be still. In comfort. Please receive the heat coming off my skin and through your hand… forget the pain of this lonely winter day we’ve spent frozen in the mind’s misunderstanding of the heart.

L.

~~~
Liz is a freelance writer and photographer who lives, loves, laughs and plays in Hawaii half the year and Colorado the other half. To learn more about Liz, visit her blog at: http://dreaminginrealtime.blogspot.com/

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19
Mar

The Future, by Nannette Campbell

   Posted by: admin    in Love Letter, Writers

It’s such an inconsistency, falling in love. The feelings and hopes mixed with the doubts and fears. The future I dream of seems like a fantasy… a fantasy that has roots in our reality. Meeting you has had the power to change everything.

I have spent my entire life dreading the passing of time, time wasted and of it all ending. Now, all I wish is that time would speed forward and rush past me like the wind of a storm. This is because when enough time has passed, I can finally be with you. The day will come when I can wake up in your arms. When that time comes, I will be waking up from dreams that have come true.

I know it is too soon to tell you all of these feelings and thoughts I am having, but these feelings are here and I think it is important to write them down and express them in some way. One day, when we are in love, I will let you read this, and you will know how you have made me feel so early in our relationship.

I hope that, when we read this, we will laugh at how silly it was for me to doubt the fact we would be in love one day. My heart and even my head say this will be so. Still, feelings like this, feelings that are so strong, can’t help to seem anything but irrational and illogical.

Who really feels this way so soon? Then again, maybe this is how it is supposed to feel when you meet the right person.

All I know is that this is just the beginning of our story, and I can’t wait to see how it ends. I hope that it will end in ‘happily ever after’. Until then, I must wait here, so far away from you, and wait for the next chapter in our love story.

Hoping One Day To Be In Love With You,
Nannette

~~~

Nannette Campbell is a freelance writer and small grocery store owner. She dreams of traveling the world and writing from small cafes. However, until she writes the next great American novel finances dictate that she will have to continue writing in her living room while sipping Folgers. To read more by Nannette, please visit this link.

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To His Ex Wife,

Your biggest mistake was my greatest gain. I’m glad you were foolish enough to think there was something out there better than him. The grass wasn’t really greener though, was it?

Because of your lies, cheating and deception, he was free of you when I found him. He was completely free of you. He doesn’t hate you, did you know that? He doesn’t care enough to hate you. You are just something that was… past tense, nothing more. You are nothing more than a case of bad judgment. You are also a fool, and I’m glad.

When I found him, it was like finding a piece of me that I had been missing. He is what I have been searching for…and you made it all possible.

If you did any damage at all, it was souring his thoughts on marriage. But we’re okay with that… just so you know. Maybe he’s given up on marriage, but he hasn’t given up on love. And as much as I would love to be his wife, I don’t need that ring to know he loves me. He’s the one I want to be with, now and forever.

If he hurt at all when you left, I am sorry for that. But I am not sorry you left. What I can’t understand is why you left. What is it that you thought you had found? What was it that you thought was better than what you had? I wonder if you even realized how good a man he really is. I don’t think you did. If you had realized that, you wouldn’t have left. You couldn’t have left.
But now that you’re gone, he’s mine… and I’m not letting go.

Signed,
Loving Him Always

~~~

Susan Sosbe enjoys freelancing from her home in Indiana, which she shares with her significant other, her two children and her dog. She enjoys painting pictures with words and sharing those creations with her readers.

You can visit Ms. Sosbe’s author site by clicking this link: http://susansosbe.com/

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Wealth Beyond Reason