You weren’t my father, at least not in the biological sense of the word. You took on the role and carried it out with finesse and pride. We do share the same DNA with a slight generational gap. You are my grandfather, but in my mind and in my heart you were so much more than that.

You were the one who went to work every day to make sure I had food in my belly and clothes on my back. You were the one who took pride when I got good grades or showed disappointment when I had done badly. You were the one that stood by me through thick and thin. You were the one that was there when I needed you both financially and emotionally. You took on the role as my father with pride, but you were even so much more than that.

You were my daddy in my heart and in my soul. You were the one that galloped around the hall with me on your shoulders singing Hi Ho Silver Away as grandma prayed we would remember to duck in the doorways. You were the one who took me to skating lessons. You were the one that took me to school functions. You were the one who made sure we never missed a county fair or steam engine show. You were the one who shared your buckwheat pancakes with me as a small girl.

You have been gone for four years now and I don’t think you will ever know how much I loved you then and love you still. I miss you every day, but on Father’s Day I miss you even more. I miss the sound of your voice and the joy in your laugh. I miss the way you played with my kids, your great grandchildren, like you did with me when I was a little girl.  I miss the smell of your hair when you hugged me. I miss the warmth of your lips when you kissed my cheek.

I selfishly wish you could be here to celebrate Father’s Day with us, to celebrate the role you took in my life. But I can only hope that you can feel the love and the strength you left me with.

Missing you,
Your Daughter

~~~

Ryanick Paige is a freelance writer and bargain shopper extraordinaire. Some of her work can be read at Associated Content.

Tags: father, Father's Day, grandfather, great grandfather, Letter to Father

Dear Dad,

I am writing this letter to thank you for all that you did for me. Now I know you may be a little confused about why I would want to thank you, considering what little time we spent together.

Well, that is exactly what I want to thank you for. As a deadbeat dad who would randomly pop into my life, you truly taught me to expect the unexpected.

Although, it happened so infrequently, I actually thought it was neat to have you show up and shower me with a huge amount of gifts-most of them extravagant to make up for all the birthdays, Christmases and report cards that came in between these visits. Kids are so easily impressed!

I will never forget the visit that brought me the Atari, the bicycle and the huge amount of clothes! Of course, after that I don’t think I saw you again for three years… but still it was cool.

I never stopped hoping that you would show up to visit me even if you didn’t bring gifts. After awhile I figured out that if I heard from you, it meant that you had a new girlfriend, one who liked kids. Somehow, she found out you had a child and she wanted to connect. I bet she thought if she could meet me, we could work together to make you a better more stable person.

I want to thank you for teaching me empathy for these poor women, who tried so hard to be a part of your life and to make you be a part of mine.

Unfortunately, it never worked out; you always broke up with them. At first, I was pretty disappointed to lose these women from my life, but I must admit it made me resilient.

I also wanted to thank you for giving me hope. I frequently went to bed dreaming about the Disney vacation you promised me, or how we would spend a whole week together. Really, I think I learned to handle disappointment quite well thanks to you.

It is important that you understand how much you made me appreciate my step dad. He has always been there, even when I didn’t want him to be there. In fact, he has really grown into the role of dad and is now a proud grandpa.

From you I gained a deep appreciation for all the dads that remain an important part of the children’s lives even if their relationship with the mother fails. It is so easy to disappear from a child’s life as you did; I applaud all the men who do not take the easy way out.

Speaking of dads… I found a wonderful man. I think you may remember him; you met him briefly at our wedding 13 years ago. I agonized for weeks about inviting you to my wedding. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I kept worrying ‘would you come, would you behave, how would you treat my mom and me‘. All that worry for nothing. As I remember it, you stopped by for about two minutes and then disappeared.

So much for a joyful reunion. I am sorry I wasted so much time worrying about it.

Anyway, my husband and I have three wonderful children, two of which are twins! Can you believe it? Too bad, you never got to see them. They are just beautiful.

My husband is a terrific father.  I admit, sometimes I get jealous of the loving, close relationship that my children have and are going to have with their dad.

Yet, I have no regrets about not having you in my life. According, to my mom and my grandmother, you drank and had a horrible temper. You belittled my mom and did some terrible things (you know what they are).

Anyway, I think things would have turned out differently and quite badly if you had been in my life.

Between my mom, my step dad and my grandparents I had people who loved me all the time, not when it is convenient for them.

I know you may find it hard to believe but without you, I have had a pretty great life. I am not sorry you weren’t part of it.

Again, I thank you,

Your Daughter

~~~

Jennifer is a freelance writer; she lives in Wisconsin with her husband, twin daughters, and son.

Tags: biological father, Father's Day, father's day letter, letter to biological father, letter to dad, Letter to Father, Unsent Letters

Dad,
I wasn’t going to write this to you but I decided to anyway. You are my dad, and even though you really make me mad at times, I still love you.

I know why you get so mean a lot of the time. I understand; I really do. I know you have a mental problem and as much as you admit it, you won’t get help. You think that you have been able to take care of it yourself but you really haven’t. Maybe, just maybe, if you woke up one day soon, you would realize that. You need help dad, and I wish I could help you.

I can’t help you though. The only person that can help you is yourself. That being said, I understand why you are the way you are. I know how you feel because I feel the same way when I don’t have my medicine. The difference between you and me is that I decided I wasn’t going to suffer for the rest of my life. I went and got the help I needed. I know you hate the medicine but when you need it, you need it. It is the way life is. If someone has a mental problem like we do, then the best thing to do for ourselves and everyone around us is to get the help we need.

But you refuse to and I will never understand why you refuse to make life easier for yourself and those who love you. We do love you, dad, but you are a hard person to live with and be around. I still love you and I always will no matter what.

I still don’t like the way you treat mom and me, but what am I supposed to do? I could fight with you, but what would that solve? Nothing. It would make things worse. We have fought in the past and I have always felt bad for doing so. I can’t take that back. All I can do is try to understand you and love you just the way you are. After all, everyone needs love and you are a human being just like the rest of us.

Aunt Mary runs her mouth about you. You don’t know she does it, and you never will. You think she likes you, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t like any of us. She just pretends to like us to our face and then she talks about us behind our backs. You wonder why I don’t like her and why I don’t visit her unless she is at your house when I am there. That is why.

I don’t like people who talk shit behind people’s backs and then act like their best friend to their face. It makes me sick. I think if someone has something to say about someone else, they should say it to that person. Not her though. She would rather kiss someone’s ass to their face and then talk shit behind their back. That makes me mad and sick and I can’t stand her for it.

I know first hand that she does it because when mom had to get that operation done on her arm, Aunt Mary was running her mouth about you as soon as you left the waiting room. She didn’t care that I was still sitting there. So guess what I did, dad? I went off on her. I asked her what her problem was and told her it was none of her business what you did. All because you went down to the Human Resources and asked them if they were hiring.

Did she not realize you had been out of work for a while and was doing everything you could to get a job? No, she didn’t care. She thought you should sit around like she was and wait until mom was out of her surgery. It wasn’t like it was a life and death situation.

I told her to keep her mouth off of you. She said she could say what she wanted because it was her sister in there getting an operation done. So what? Mom was okay. I told her that you were my dad and she needed to keep her damn mouth off of you.

You know what she did after that, dad? As soon as you got back from downstairs and she was going down to get something to eat, she asked you very sweetly if you wanted something from the cafeteria! How is that for backstabbing? She gave me a dirty look when you weren’t looking and didn’t ask me if I wanted anything. I don’t care. I didn’t and still don’t want anything from her or anyone else in mom’s family. They are all backstabbers and I know they are only nice to me to my face. I don’t care though. They wonder why I don’t want to be around them. I don’t care for any of them.

So dad, I do love you even though sometimes it is hard for us to get along. I will always stick up for you when someone talks shit on you. If they don’t like it, they can kiss my ass for all I care!

I remember when I used to sit on your lap, Daddy and hug you really hard. Now, as I am older, I see other fathers and daughters, how close they are, and wish we could have been closer. We were close when I was little but as I grew up you seemed only to care about my cousin, because he is a boy and you had more in common.

Why couldn’t we have been close? I get so sad when I see dads and their little girls and how close they are because I realize that we could have been closer but it never happened. I wish it would have though. I still love you and will always wish that we could have been closer. But it wasn’t meant to be I guess.

Happy Father’s Day and remember I will always love you no matter what.

~~~

Clarissa Wilson is a freelance writer who loves to read, write and spend time with her many pets. She enjoys writing non-fiction articles, short fiction stories, letters and poetry. She doesn’t have a website yet but you can view some of her work at http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/48715/sharon_morris.html and http://ramblingthoughts.today.com

Tags: Father's Day, Letter to Father

Dear Dad.

Sometimes if feels like one hundred years since you died; other times, it’s like it was yesterday. As I grow older–and I hope wiser–it dawns on me anew what a terrible shame it was for you to pass when you did at a fairly young age. You worked hard your whole life to get a nice place for you and mama. Then shortly after doing that, you got sick.

As I watch my kids grow, I regret our relationship wasn’t as close as it could have been. No, we were not the type to speak of feelings to each other, but we knew it was there.

I wish you could know how sorry I am that the one time I can remember you saying “I love you” to me as an adult, I pretended to not hear and ask you to repeat it. You just replied “Nothing” and I left the room very quickly. It was after you were sick, and it scared me to hear you say that. I knew then that you were not going to beat cancer and that you would die.

Even though I was an adult, it was hard to picture you as just another man. You were my dad and close to indestructible in my eyes. When it finally sunk in you were going to die, I didn’t know what to say or do.

When the nurses said you were in a coma, you kept trying to talk. At first we didn’t understand what you were saying over and over.  When it dawned on us you were trying to say mama’s name over and over again, it sent me to my knees at the wonder of that love.

I know what love like that is now. You would like Ann. She isn’t a frilly, girly type and even works on the car, as you know I am helpless in that department. At the same time, she is a lady. You would like her. I know mama sure does.

Adam is almost 13 now and entering the terrible teens, but he is a good kid most of the time. He wants to work on cars when he gets older. Wonder who he got that from? I think he remembers you a little, and he has your picture by his bed.

You would like Ann’s kids. They are a good bunch. Shawn is very smart and the hardest working teenager I ever knew. Chris has had his troubles but seems to be growing out of them. Bribe him with a fishing trip and he is a friend for life. Monica is adorable and quick with an insult in a teasing way. You would love her often only answering to her nickname “George” and her affection for me.

I hope somehow you are able to see us and how we are doing and know that I miss you very much and always will.

Your son,
Randy

~~~

Randy Inman is a freelance writer living in the foothills of North Carolina. He enjoys watching sports, fishing and spending time with his fiancee and kids. You can read his writing here and here, so stop by and leave him a comment or two. If you’re into sports, Randy’s column here is a must read.

Tags: Father's Day, Letter to Father