Dear Fat Girl,

Step away from the buffet table for a minute, because we need to talk.

You and I have always been at odds with each other. I would join the gym, and you would eat a piece of birthday cake at an office birthday party. We had a rivalry, but we still liked each other.

You used to occasionally indulge. You never drank regular soda or ate candy bars. Lately, that has changed. You have become a glutton, and quite frankly, you disgust me.

I understand that you have suffered a big loss and feel guilty about it. I know you have been depressed. You have been stuffing food into your mouth to try to fill that ache inside. It won’t work. There aren’t enough doughnuts in the world to fill the pain.

You keep making excuses. You are too busy to cook a good meal, and hey, it is so cheap to upsize. How cheap are the hospital bills going to be when your heart explodes? You say your clothes must have shrunk in the dryer. No, honey, you are just getting fatter by the minute.

When you see people who haven’t seen you in a few years, they try to cover their shock at how big you’ve grown. They peer into your chubby little face looking for me behind all those chins.

Quite frankly, I have had enough.

You declared war on me. You tried to silence me with your brownies and cookies. You think I am gone? You’re wrong. I am here, and I am pissed.

I will not let you eat us into oblivion. I have a beautiful son to raise. I don’t want him to go to school and hear comments about his fatso mom. I don’t want to be so out of shape that I can’t run and play with him at the park. I don’t want to die from a heart attack or diabetes complications because I let you win. I want to see him grow up. I want to hold my grandchildren.

If it is a choice between you and me, I choose me. I can hear you screaming to be heard when I pass a bakery or when I make dessert for the family. You are wasting your time. I am not listening anymore.

I have made lifestyle changes. I am eating better and exercising. You know what? I went to meet friends for coffee at a doughnut shop today. The place gave us free doughnut holes. I didn’t eat one. I could hear you, faintly whispering, but I ignored you.

I stepped on the scale today. I lost 4 pounds this week. Do you know how many doughnut holes that is? Oh, wait, you probably do.

I kept all the old clothes that you couldn’t fit in anymore. I am going to get into them again. You know what else? I am going to lose so much weight that they will be too big for me soon and I will go shopping for a whole new wardrobe.

Give up the fight, fat girl; you’ve already lost. In fact, you are going to keep losing and keep losing until those same people peer into my face, looking past the cheekbones and dainty chin for you. They won’t find you though, because I am taking over. I am reclaiming my body and my life and you will only be someone in pictures of the past.

Signed,
The Skinny girl

~~~

Rissa is a writer, mother, wife and scarred veteran of the battle of the bulge. Her weapon of choice has always been humor in all her roles. To learn more about Rissa go to her website http://www.rissawatkins.com

Tags: fat girl, humor, letter to body, Letter To Self, losing weight, skinny girl, weight loss