Mar 23, 2010
It has been three months since you left and your presence still feels as close to me as it ever was. I feel you watching over me, protecting me from all the unknown fears that lie deep in my river of thoughts.
You sheltered me as if I were fragile and breakable. I am broken without you here. Time and space have no meaning. My hours turn to days, and my days turn to months for my shattered being. (more…)
Mar 20, 2010
I remember sitting crying one night when a song came on the radio. You never understood why I cried that night. I never did explain it to you, even after you got angry and stormed around the house. You never did understand that sometimes I just needed to cry and that it didn’t always mean you’d done something wrong. That night, though, it wasn’t so much that you had done something wrong. The reason for my tears was more that you had simply never done anything right. I tried to explain to you that just because you’ve done nothing wrong doesn’t mean you did everything right, and you never understood that either.
I guess in the end it was this lack of understanding that did in our relationship. Of all the things we struggled through, the only one I couldn’t ever move past was you sitting there staring at me with that blank look letting me know that we simply never were on the same page.
But that night, the radio came on, and the song playing had the following lyrics, “You’re a complicated lady, that’s for sure, with a need for someone unafraid to make you feel secure. And if you wonder if I’m strong enough to be your man: Yes I am…”
That’s when the tears started to fall. You see, that’s what I needed… someone strong enough to be there for me, knowing that it would really take someone with amazing strength to do so, and I knew, in that instant, with those words from that song, that it was clear to me you were not strong enough. You weren’t the one. (more…)