Dec 12, 2009
Is it really that hard to say that you love me in front of someone else? I don’t understand. I listen to you talk to a friend on the phone and you end the conversation with, “I love you!” You do it so easily because you know no one is going to mistake that love as anything other than the love of a friend for another friend.
Then, last night, when I called you and you were with someone else, and when I said, “I love you,” you fell silent. You tried to compensate with something about having a good night, or seeing me soon, but the pause and missing profession of love was evident, palpable, tangible. I realize it’s because of multiple reasons, who you were with not wanting to or ready to answer questions, and also because, knowing your own feelings, you fear they would show more than the love you expressed to your friend. (more…)
Dec 3, 2009
I know you probably don’t think about it too often, how the hundreds of not thousands if not hundreds of thousands of women probably fantasize about you, being with you, dating you, loving you, etc. I assume that one of the things that probably comes with fame is being able to somehow be immune of ignorant of the lust and fanaticism of those who watch you on television, in the movies, or on the stage.
But I wonder sometimes if you truly understand what that means to be wanted and lusted after by so many women.
Anyway, I won’t say that I’m your biggest fan, because that is a bit too book/movie Misery for my comfort, and I’m not certain I’d even say I am a fan, per se. I enjoy watching you on House. I like that character you play, and yet, I wouldn’t be able to tell you anything about you personally, except that I just found out today that you’re married and have kids. (more…)
Dec 2, 2009
Do you remember back when we were kids? Some days, I remember it like it was yesterday and some days I try really hard to forget. Life wasn’t so good back then, and yet, we both had it so much better than most, at least, most of the people we knew.
I know you never understood why I was so unhappy. You were the cheerful one, always with a smile and those blue eyes. Mom even said recently that you were one the boys always made comments about. See, they made comments about me too, but I guess she never saw that. You were tiny and cute and I was a big girl, tall for my age with big breasts and a full figure. I was never fat, but it sure seemed Mom thought I was. Oh, yeah, the men looked at me too. I guess Mom forgot that. Seems she forgets a lot of things, perhaps conveniently. (more…)